If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
