is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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