i don't like sucking hair
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
