Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize