piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
