pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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