So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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