We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
