Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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