I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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