after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
