i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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