my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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