Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
