I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
