i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm always down for nudity.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
