It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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