your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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