do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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