oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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