and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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