You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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