I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize