Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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