better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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