Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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