96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
