If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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