john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
