I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
