my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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