im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
