Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
