I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
