i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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