we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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