I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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