Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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