That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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