DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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