apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
