Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
