This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize