I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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