I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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