I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
