I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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