Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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