everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
