Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
