it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
