I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She's the barista slut.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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