You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
