But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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