Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
