I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Everyone says I win the strip club
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
