recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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