Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
