so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
